Are YOU guilty of passion squashing?

11 09 2008

Have you ever had one of those moments in life where you were adamant in a decision, but then found the decision to be wrong and you felt so bad?  For instance, take parenthood.  How many of us have had a time when the child was crying out of control and we were standing firm that we were not going to cave into their cries and then we come to find out the child was crying because of an extemely dirty diaper burning his rear end OR their leg was caught in the crib bars!    Am I alone in these moments?

Well, I had another epiphany today on my ride to the gym.  As usual, I seem to have some of my best conversations with myself during this time.  In fact, I think one of these days I’ll record them!  Anyway, today was another of those days.

I have been coaching people for a long time now about how to find their passion.  How to find something, however small, in their lives that they can do for themselves each and everyday!  I’ve been coaching people on career choices, being led by their intuition, making choices based on what they are passionate about, and like last post professing it is okay to say no to the wrong path.

I believe it has gone fairly well so far.  And then this morning like a ligtbulb bursting (no, not just turning on!) I was struck with the realization that I have been coaching adults along their journey all along squashing my children’s passions!  UGH!  What a realization!  Say it isn’t so!  I’m a personal mastery coach for pete’s sake how can I be so guilty!  After all, I fully realize that all of our conditioning comes from our childhood and the adults influencing us.

Now, by all means I am not saying I am critical or condenscending whatsoever, but what I am guilty of is not fully letting them explore their own passions!  As children what great minds we have!  We have the imaginations and guts to do anything!  And yet, how many times as children did we want to play the piano, but had no teacher? How many times did we want to be an actor, but had no play?  How many times did we want to learn to skate, but had no skateboard?  Do you see where I am getting at?

Children are so full of passion!  And yes that passion changes from week to week, month to month, and year to year.  How fabulous!  They WANT to try new things, they WANT to discover what they are good at.  And they aren’t afraid to try! It is when we as parents don’t realize that we are squashing passion (with consequences reaching far into their futures) by not giving them the opportunities to explore that their passionate nature tends to dull.

Right now I am experiencing this with both my children.  My son LOVES to skateboard.  He is at that park everyday he can get there and spends hours practicing.  His goal is to get sponsored by a company so he can get free boards.  Now frankly, he may not be as good as the sponsors want, but who am I to say that!  Why would I squash him down.  My opportunity is to coach him like I do the adults I work with!  Instead of, “do you think they will look at you?” I ask “what are you going to do to get looked at?” I am fully supportive for him doing what he is passionate about!

Now my daughter on the other hand is one who flits around from thing to thing. I have really been guilty of not seeing these different things as different passions.  AGAIN I AM GUILTY OF SQUASHING PASSION.  I just haven’t paid a lot of attention.  Well, she has been taking a food service class at school.  I see her looking through cookbooks and stating that she wants to cook some things.  What a great opportunity to help her explore some new passions. Here’s my chance to help her along! Be that good passion coach!  I told her that if she wanted to get some recipes to cook she could go to the store and help me grocery shop for the ingredients.  She was so excited!  My 15 year old was actually excited about grocery shopping!  How cool is that! And I would never have known if I hadn’t had that epiphany of seeing the passions in children!

So my question today for you is are you guilty of passion squashing?  Could you be taking your children’s interests a little bit more seriously?  Could you help open up doors for them to explore the things they are passionate about at this moment?  It really doesn’t matter how old they are.  Honestly, would Michael Phelps be the Olympic Swimmer he is today if his mother had stopped taking him to the pool because the days got too busy? Hmmmm…………

heather browning




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